The language of the personal ad, explained: nineteenth-century phrases found in the archive, and the modern abbreviations that replaced them.
Personal ads have always had their own grammar, because every word cost money and every line had to carry a person. Historical entries are dated from ads in The Personals Archive, each linked to its original page. Modern entries give the earliest dates published references record, and say so when no reliable date exists.
A numbered box at the newspaper where replies to an ad were collected, so the writer never had to print a name or address.
A formal way of asking someone to write: please communicate with box 150.
Someone to exchange letters with. Wanting a correspondent could be the first step toward marriage, or simply a wish for letters.
Mail held at the post office for a person to collect, with no street address needed.
A request, usually in a missed connection, asking the other person to agree to meet: will the lady grant acquaintance?
A promise that replies would be kept private: address, in confidence, or all answers strictly confidential.
The heading of a notice asking readers for news of a missing or out-of-touch person.
Short for instant: of the current month. The 9th inst. meant the 9th of this month.
A warning that only serious replies were wanted: no one looking to flirt, play games or waste the writer's time.
A formula stating that the writer's purpose is marriage: object meaning goal or aim.
Having money or property. A lady of means or a gentleman of means was financially comfortable.
The section of a newspaper, usually headed Personal or Personals, where private individuals paid to print short messages to the public or to one particular reader.
An offer, or a condition, that both sides would send each other a picture.
Well mannered, cultured and respectable; a word of social standing as much as personality.
The railroad train or streetcar; in the cars meant aboard the train.
Prosperous; comfortably off.
The classic opening of a missed connection: a question addressed to someone the writer saw but did not speak to.
The standard polite phrase for wanting to meet someone, used in ads written by both men and women.
A slightly softer way of saying object matrimony: the writer hopes the acquaintance will lead to marriage.
The writer uses cannabis, or doesn't mind a partner who does.
A promise from the writer to reply to everyone who writes back.
A claim or request about health and drug use, common in casual personals.
Friends who also have a sexual relationship, without the commitment of dating.
The writer has, or wants someone with, a good sense of humor. Mainly British.
A description of build, or a preference for a partner whose weight is in proportion to their height.
Introduces what the writer is looking for, as in DWM, 42, ISO SWF.
The writer is looking for something lasting rather than casual.
Codes placed at the start of an online personal to show who is writing and who they are looking for.
A casual arrangement with no commitment expected on either side.
Part of a code system describing the writer or the person sought: marital status (S single, D divorced, M married), race or ethnicity (W white, B black), sometimes orientation (G gay, Bi bisexual), and gender (M or F).
Introduces the kind of person the writer wants to meet. Mainly British.
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